from THE MOAN WILDS

Caroline Rayner

Shut the porch when I go out and ruin another fucking dress. Gravel this time. What does
magnolia have to do with it. What does mimosa.

I know the radio will spoil the mood because it always does. Blame a certain kind of midnight,
truth is that I have to use my hands. Salt got everywhere including the bed. And the garden. And
the plate I heaved against the wall. No need to forgive, just complain about it when you decide to
be a real bitch.

Knowing that devotion is fractal means pouring and pouring.

No way around it.

Hang on until I feel like realizing what I did. Bathtub is shaped like the aftermath. Will you lean
against the mirror, will you fog up the glass. Anything but sing, anything but that. Rude as a
cactus that blooms at night. Knee light, cerulean light.

Activate.

I brought the wrong equipment. What I mean is a lamp. Onion from the yard. Traumatized
animal. Might as well do what I can except I forgot how I arrived. Plus you have no idea where I
saw yolk seeping. Believe me. I gave and gave and gave.

Like a fucking priestess.

I need you to understand the promise I made to a bird. Orange wine, tower catching fire,
someone pausing the movie. I did not imagine it. You want something for the blood.

Shut your mouth when you see me leaving with nothing.

The kitchen does not face the light. I tried. Believe me. I could smell meat rotting from the yard.

I photographed a hole to explain the feeling.

Shut the porch when I go out and ruin another fucking dress. Gravel this time. What does
magnolia have to do with it. What does mimosa.

I know the radio will spoil the mood because it always does. Blame a certain kind of midnight,
truth is that I have to use my hands. Salt got everywhere including the bed. And the garden. And
the plate I heaved against the wall. No need to forgive, just complain about it when you decide
to be a real bitch.

Knowing that devotion is fractal means pouring and pouring.

No way around it.

Hang on until I feel like realizing what I did. Bathtub is shaped like the aftermath. Will you lean
against the mirror, will you fog up the glass. Anything but sing, anything but that. Rude as a
cactus that blooms at night. Knee light, cerulean light.

Activate.

I brought the wrong equipment. What I mean is a lamp. Onion from the yard. Traumatized
animal. Might as well do what I can except I forgot how I arrived. Plus you have no idea where I
saw yolk seeping. Believe me. I gave and gave and gave.

Like a fucking priestess.

I need you to understand the promise I made to a bird. Orange wine, tower catching fire,
someone pausing the movie. I did not imagine it. You want something for the blood.

Shut your mouth when you see me leaving with nothing.

The kitchen does not face the light. I tried. Believe me. I could smell meat rotting from the yard.

I photographed a hole to explain the feeling.

Caroline Rayner is the author of calorie world (Sad Spell, 2017). Her work can be found in PeachShabby Doll HouseNo Tokens, and elsewhere. 

Caroline Rayner is the author of calorie world (Sad Spell, 2017). Her work can be found in PeachShabby Doll HouseNo Tokens, and elsewhere.